Paradisus Dei does not charge parishes for the program itself. However, all parishes will need to pay for the onsite costs to host the program. Onsite costs include program promotion, food and beverages, and potentially audio/video equipment.

Parishes finance TMIY in a number of ways. The three most common ways are:

• The parish pays for the program out of general funds or adult formation/education funds;
• A financially blessed man and/or group of men finance the program for the parish;
• The Core Team finances the program.

No. Paradisus Dei does not charge parishes for the program, nor may parishes charge participants for the program. Paradisus Dei is dependent upon the generosity of TMIY participants through the two donation appeals to fund the program. The parish is welcome to pass along the cost of the Participant Books ($10) to the men if they choose.

Paradisus Dei does not permit parishes to directly charge men to attend the program for two reasons. First, the program seeks to develop an environment of gratuitousness towards the men. A common statement from prospective participants during the promotional campaign is: “Ok, what do you want me to do for you now?” The appropriate answer is: “We don’t want you to do anything! We want you to receive something!” By not charging for the program, that response can be said with integrity. Second, TMIY has proven itself successful in “casting the net” more deeply into the parish than many other programs. An “admission fee” would discourage those men who are already stepping out of their “comfort zone” to give TMIY a try.

Since TMIY is not purely catechetical in nature but seeks to help men encounter God within the context of their marriages and family life, the Archbishop of Galveston-Houston (Cardinal DiNardo) has determined that the That Man is You! Program does not need the Imprimatur or Nihil obstat at this time. Nonetheless, he reserves the right to submit TMIY for evaluation at a later date.

Noting the fruits of TMIY, Cardinal DiNardo has endorsed the program for use at the parish level. His letter of recommendation may be found in the program’s promotional literature. TMIY has also received endorsements from Archbishop Charles Chaput of Philadelphia, Bishop Robert Guglielmone of Charleston, Bishop Steven Raica of Gaylord, Bishop David Ricken of Green Bay, Bishop Ronald Gainer of Harrisburg, and Bishop Thomas Olmsted of Phoenix.

TMIY is guided by a National Leadership Team that is composed of clergy (priests and deacons) and laity alike. The clergy are drawn from parishes across the United States.

The program content was developed by Steve Bollman based upon the Church’s traditional source of Scripture, Tradition and Magisterial teachings. The content was developed over the course of numerous years based on his extensive reading, personal insights and discussions with numerous theologians and individuals within the Church.

TMIY is divided into three roughly equal parts: (1) 30 minutes for a meal; (2) 30 minutes for the DVD presentation; and (3) 30 minutes for small group discussions.

No portion of the TMIY program may be eliminated or skipped. Experience shows that the three segments of TMIY support each other and form an integrated program that is greater than the sum of the parts. Individual men are permitted to attend the program as it fits their particular scheduling needs. Therefore, it is not uncommon that some men need to leave the program before the small group discussion is completed.

All other things being equal, experience shows that morning programs are more successful than evening programs since they do not encounter the same intensity of scheduling conflicts. Nonetheless, parishes must consider their individual dynamics and logistics. It is often not feasible to run a morning program in parishes where the men would encounter a significant commute to work following the program. In such cases, evening programs have proven successful.

All other thing being equal, experience shows that programs run on a weekday morning are typically successful. Nonetheless, successful programs have also been run on Saturday. It has been discovered that more men travel at the beginning of the work week than the end of the work week.

The amount of time it takes to get TMIY started varies greatly, depending on the parish. Some parishes have started TMIY in little more than a month while other parishes have taken more than a year. As a rule of thumb, most parishes are successful at launching TMIY in the Fall if they have formed their Core Team by the middle of Summer.

The ability to form a Core Team is one of the signs that a program is “going to make it” at a particular parish. The Core Team needs to have at LEAST four dedicated men who can make the vast majority of the sessions. Ideally, the Core Team should have 6-8 men, which provides for back-ups when Core Team members need to miss a session and avoids placing too great a burden on any one man. The failure to form an adequate Core Team is an indication that the parish needs to move more slowly or combine their efforts with a neighboring parish.

Yes, it is essential to run the entire TMIY promotional campaign. In a culture bombarded by advertising messages, TMIY must work very hard to establish itself in the mind of potential participants. Experience indicates that an intensive promotional campaign is only able to reach half the men of a large parish. Nonetheless, a discernment of the particular needs of your parish can be made with your TMIY Program Coordinator. The greatest determinate of the intensity of the promotional campaign is the size of the parish.

The cost of the promotional campaign varies based on the size of the parish and thus the amount of marketing materials needed. These costs are discussed in detail in the Program Materials section of the manual.

A well run promotional campaign is typically able to attract between 5-10% of the men registered in a parish. Although numerous factors may contribute to a lower than expected response, the most frequent issue is a lack of personal contact by the Core Team and Small Group Leaders and Helpers. Reliance on the promotional materials alone will typically result in a registration rate of 2% or less. In some cases it may be necessary to reevaluate the selection of the Core Team members and Small Group Leaders. The vast majority of men will register the last two weeks of the promotional campaign.

Yes. Paradisus Dei is able to make TMIY available solely through the generosity of the participants of the program. Successful donation appeals allow Paradisus Dei to continue to improve the program and make it available to men nationwide.

Paradisus Dei uses the money collected from the donation appeals to finance the development of the program and to pay for its operating expenses. To date, the developmental costs of the program exceed $ 250,000.

The three largest areas of developmental costs are: (1) Professional production of the program DVDs; (2) Website development; and (3) Professional development of TMIY promotional materials. The three largest areas of operating costs are: (1) Salaries for Paradisus Dei employees; (2) Travel; and (3) Administrative costs (promotional materials, shipping, telephone, etc.). It should be noted that the TMIY Program Founder, Steve Bollman, does not receive a salary or any other monies from Paradisus Dei.

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Once the parish has received pastor approval and formed a Core Team, the parish’s TMIY Program Coordinator will assign a login ID and password, which provides host access to the secure area of the TMIY website.

The secure area of the TMIY website may be accessed by going to the TMIY website at shop.paradisusdei.org, clicking on the Log-In button in the upper right-hand corner and then entering your login ID (typically your email address) and password.

Yes. The TMIY program is facilitated through the use of the internet. By using the TMIY website, host parishes have access to materials and information “24/7” and the TMIY Program Coordinators are able to spend their time helping parishes with unique issues and opportunities (as opposed to explaining routine matters each time to every parish).

Yes! One of the most common comments from the wives of men attending the program is, “What do you have available for me?” In 2015, The Choice Wine: 7 Steps to a Superabundant Marriage was offered to parishes as a marriage enrichment program. More information about this program can be found on our The Choice Wine page.

We offer programs for youth and young adults (Hope Undimmed) and mothers and their daughters (Mother Daughter Retreat), plus live events.

Hope Undimmed brings together thirty incredible speakers for seven unforgettable sessions and one amazing experience. This set of seven DVDs attempts to help students to bridge the gap between faith and reason as it relates to the mystery of the human person, created male and female.

The Mother Daughter Retreat helps you deliver God’s remarkable good news about sexuality. Katie Hartfiel leads mothers and daughters (grades 8-12) on this remarkable journey that weaves engaging talks with powerful prayer and extraordinary fun to create and experience of a lifetime. This one-night experience uniquely supports church, school or home use. These products are available for purchase on our website at shop.paradisusdei.org.