THAT MAN IS YOU!

Frequently Asked Questions

Our Most Asked Questions About

That Man is You!

If you have a question that’s not answered here, please contact us.

STARTING TMIY AT YOUR PARISH

HOW DO I START TMIY AT MY PARISH?

It’s easy! Simply:

Obtain your pastor’s approval.
Build your Core Team of 8 men. (could be less depending on the size of your parish)
Contact us to register your parish for free!
Run a promotional campaign, guided by your TMIY Program Coordinator.
Launch the program!

Once registered the parish receives:

Access to TMIY session videos.
Lifetime support from a trained Program Coordinator.
Access to training videos featuring 20 years of best practices.
Core Team Manual checklists and agenda to walk you through every step.
Free promotional plan and marketing pieces to reach everyone in your parish
Access to TMIY app.
Your own TMIY class page to manage your class.

3 Things to Keep in Mind As You Discern Bringing TMIY to Your Parish

All TMIY programs launch in September of every year and run weekly for 13 sessions in the fall and 13 for the spring.
Each Meeting has three essential 30-min. elements: fellowship, video presentation and small group discussion.
In partnering with Parishes, the Content and Support is offered for free with parishes being responsible for onsite expenses to promote and run the meetings.

WHAT STARTER RESOURCES WILL I RECEIVE?

Core Team Manual – The Core Team Manual will be one of your greatest resources moving forward. It is truly an A-Z guide on how to run a successful TMIY program.
Sample Promotional Materials – You will find three of the main marketing pieces that we use to encourage men to attend the program. A well-planned promotional campaign goes a long way in reaching all the men of the parish.
Access to the Class Admin Portal – Each core team member will have access to a class page that contains all of the support materials and tools needed to run a TMIY program.
Access to Paradisus Dei Video Player – Your access provides you with the ability to play weekly TMIY sessions without needing internet access.
Access to TMIY App – The TMIY App is available to all men registered for Active TMIY classes. The TMIY app contains the weekly session videos and weekly presentation slides.

HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE TO GET THE PROGRAM STARTED?

This depends on the parish. Some parishes have started TMIY in a little more than a month, while others have taken more than a year. As a rule of thumb, most parishes are successful at launching TMIY in the fall, if they have formed their Core Team by the middle of summer.

WHAT HAPPENS IF I CANNOT GET ENOUGH MEN TO AGREE TO BE ON THE CORE TEAM?

The ability to form a Core Team is one of the signs that a program is going to make it at a particular parish. The Core Team needs to have at LEAST four dedicated men who will attend the vast majority of the sessions. Ideally, the Core Team should have six or eight men, which provides for backups when someone needs to miss a session and avoids placing too great a burden on any one man. The failure to form an adequate Core Team is an indication that the parish needs to move more slowly or combine their efforts with a neighboring parish.

DO WE NEED TO RUN THE ENTIRE PROMOTIONAL CAMPAIGN?

Yes, it is essential to run the entire TMIY promotional campaign. In a culture bombarded by advertising messages, TMIY must work very hard to establish itself in the minds of potential participants. Experience indicates that an intensive promotional campaign is only able to reach half the men of a large parish. Your TMIY Program Coordinator will address specific promotional needs.

HOW MUCH DOES THE PROMOTIONAL CAMPAIGN COST?

The cost of the promotional campaign varies based on the size of the parish and amount of marketing materials needed. These costs are discussed in detail in the Program Materials section of the manual.

WHAT IF THERE IS A SMALL RESPONSE TO THE PROMOTIONAL CAMPAIGN?

A well-run promotional campaign is typically able to attract 5% to 10% of the men registered in a parish. Although numerous factors may contribute to a lower-than-expected response, the most frequent issue is a lack of personal contact by the Core Team and Small Group Leaders and Helpers. Reliance on the promotional materials alone will typically result in a registration rate of 2% or less. In some cases it may be necessary to reevaluate the selection of the Core Team members and Small Group Leaders. The majority of men will register during the last two weeks of the promotional campaign.

RUNNING TMIY AT YOUR PARISH

WHAT IS THE STRUCTURE OF TMIY?

TMIY is divided into three parts:

30 minutes for a meal.
30 minutes for the DVD presentation.
30 minutes for small group discussions.

IS IT BETTER TO RUN A MORNING OR EVENING PROGRAM?

Our experience shows that morning programs are more successful than evening programs because they do not incur the same intensity of scheduling conflicts. Nonetheless, parishes must consider their individual dynamics and logistics.

WHAT IS THE BEST DAY OF THE WEEK TO RUN TMIY?

We find that programs that run on a weekday morning are typically successful. However, successful programs have also run on Saturdays.

MAY THE MEAL OR ANY SMALL GROUP SECTIONS OF TMIY BE ELIMINATED OR SKIPPED?

No, because experience shows that the three segments of TMIY support each other and form an integrated program that is greater than the sum of the parts. Individual men are permitted to attend the program as it fits their particular scheduling needs. Therefore, it is not uncommon for some men to leave the program before the small group discussion is completed.

WHEN WILL I RECEIVE ACCESS TO THE SECURE AREA OF THE TMIY WEBSITE DEDICATED TO HOST PARISHES?

Once the parish has received pastor approval and formed a Core Team, the parish’s TMIY Program Coordinator will assign a login ID and password. This will give the host access to the secure area of the TMIY website.

HOW DO I ACCESS THE SECURE AREA OF THE TMIY WEBSITE?

The secure area of the TMIY web pages may be accessed by going to paradisusdei.org and selecting the Login link at the top right corner of the website.

IS IT NECESSARY TO USE THE TMIY WEBSITE?

Yes. By using the TMIY website, host parishes have access to materials and information 24/7. TMIY Program Coordinators are able to spend their time helping parishes with unique issues and opportunities, as opposed to explaining routine matters each time to every parish.

COST AND FINANCING

HOW MUCH DOES THE TMIY PROGRAM COST?

Paradisus Dei does not charge parishes for the program itself. However, all parishes pay for the onsite costs to host the program, including promotion, food and beverages and audio/video equipment.

HOW DO PARISHES FINANCE THEIR PORTION OF THE PROGRAM?

The three most common ways to finance the program are:

From the parish’s general funds or adult formation/education funds.
A financially blessed man or a group of men contribute the money.
The Core Team covers the cost.

CAN PARISHES CHARGE A FEE TO MEN WHO ATTEND THE PROGRAM?

No. Paradisus Dei does not charge parishes for the program nor may parishes charge participants. Paradisus Dei is dependent upon the generosity of TMIY participants through two donation appeals to fund the program. The parish is welcome to pass along the cost of the participant books ($10 each), if they choose.

WHY CAN’T PARISHES CHARGE PARTICIPANTS?

Paradisus Dei does not permit parishes to directly charge men to attend the program for two reasons. First, the program seeks to develop an environment of gratuitousness toward the men. Second, TMIY has proven itself successful in casting the net more deeply into the parish than many other programs. An admission fee would discourage men who are already stepping out of their comfort zone to give TMIY a try.

ARE WE REQUIRED TO RUN BOTH DONATION APPEALS?

Yes. Paradisus Dei is able to make TMIY available solely through the generosity of the participants of the program. Successful donation appeals allow Paradisus Dei to continue to improve the program and make it available to men nationwide.

HOW DOES PARADISUS DEI USE THE MONEY FROM THE APPEALS?

Paradisus Dei uses the money collected from the donation appeals to finance the development of the program and pay for its operating expenses.

The three largest areas of developmental costs are: professional production of the program DVDs; website development; and professional development of TMIY promotional materials. The three largest areas of operating costs: salaries for Paradisus Dei employees; staff travel; and administrative costs (promotional materials, shipping, telephone, etc.). TMIY Program Founder Steve Bollman does not receive a salary or any other monies from Paradisus Dei

CHURCH APPROVAL

HAS THE PROGRAM RECEIVED CHURCH APPROVAL?

Because TMIY is not purely catechetical in nature, but seeks to help men encounter God within the context of their marriages and family lives, the Archbishop of Galveston-Houston (Cardinal Daniel DiNardo) has determined that the That Man is You! program does not need the imprimatur or nihil obstat at this time. Nonetheless, he reserves the right to submit TMIY for evaluation at a later date.

DOES THE PROGRAM HAVE THE SUPPORT OF THE ARCHBISHOP OF GALVESTON–HOUSTON?

Noting the fruits of TMIY, Cardinal DiNardo has endorsed the program for use at the parish level. His letter of recommendation may be found in the program’s promotional literature. TMIY has also received endorsements from Archbishop Charles Chaput of Philadelphia, Pennsylvania; Bishop Robert Guglielmone of Charleston, South Carolina; Bishop Steven Raica of Gaylord, Michigan; Bishop David Ricken of Green Bay, Wisconsin; Bishop Ronald Gainer of Harrisburg, Pennsylvania; and Bishop Thomas Olmsted of Phoenix, Arizona.

ARE ANY CLERGY INVOLVED IN THE GOVERNANCE OF TMIY?

TMIY is guided by a National Leadership Team that is composed of priests, deacons and laity. Clergy members are drawn from parishes across the United States.

WHO DEVELOPED THE MATERIAL FOR THE PROGRAM?

The program content was developed by Paradisus Dei founder Steve Bollman based upon the Church’s traditional source of Scripture, Tradition and Magisterial teachings. Developed over the course of numerous years, the content is based on his extensive readings, personal insights and discussions with numerous theologians and individuals within the Church.